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Go the distance with delay creams, sprays and pelvic floor trainers Silicone Additives For Painting
No one wants to be a one-minute man. But thanks to date night nerves or a few too many beers, finishing too soon during sex is a system glitch that most men experience every now and then.
That said, while it's perfectly normal to arrive ahead of schedule on occasion, repeatedly cumming early — otherwise known as premature ejaculation (PE) — can impact relationships, cause emotional distress and mess with your self-esteem.
Now here's where we recommend booking an appointment with your GP to rule out physical causes like high blood pressure, thyroid problems and diabetes, as well as mental health disorders like anxiety or depression. However, for those wanting to give an at-home remedy a go first, you've got choices.
From delay sprays to creams, super-infused condoms and supplements, here our sex writer details your options.
'Premature ejaculation is when a penis-owner ejaculates sooner than wanted during sex,' says Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney's resident sex and relationships expert. 'It is also known as rapid ejaculation, premature climax or early ejaculation.'
While one in five men admit to being impacted by PE, new research suggests that less than a quarter will actually seek medical advice for it.
The ideal timespan for sex really depends on your and your partner(s) personal preference. While some couples might enjoy humping until the early hours, others will be perfectly content with a five minute quickie.
'There is no set amount of time for how long sex should last,' says Danielle Brightman, Clinical Lead at digital health clinic, Numan. 'But ejaculating quicker than desired is a common occurrence and can usually be easily treated.'
Not all couples are in sync, so if you're unsure how your other half feels, ask them. You might find that they are, in fact, perfectly happy. But if they do fess up to being dissatisfied with the duration of your play, then it's time to make a few adjustments.
One among several simple remedies that can aid a longer lust session, ejaculation sprays, gels and creams work to decrease your sensitivity.
'They contain desensitising ingredients such as anaesthetics or natural numbing ingredients. Some work by physically desensitising the area, while others will create a cooling sensation to imitate desensitisation,' explains Knight.
It might seem obvious, but always read the individual product instructions before using a delay spray — and bear in mind that the desensitising effects can last a lot longer than you bargained for.
'How long delay spray works depends on how much product has been used and the active ingredients,' explains Knight. 'With typical use, a person can expect the spray to last around 30 to 45 minutes. However, the desensitising effects of the spray can last between one to three hours, so ensure that you are prepared for this eventuality.'
From anti-speed sprays to toys tailored to time management, here are the simple remedies we recommend...
If you’re currently more of a hare than a tortoise in the race to the finish line, consider using a delay spray. Don’t go mad with it; applying one or two sprays to the tip of your member is enough for the gentle numbing effect to take place.
Wait for it to dry (or pop on a condom), otherwise you’ll wind up numbing your partner's downstairs too. Then prepare for a solid night of passion...
Additional lubrication might sound like a surefire way to finish the party before it's even started. But upgrading to a thicker lube will help to reduce the friction between you and your partner. Essentially, less stimulation = more control and more time dancing in the sheets.
If you've tried the creams and sprays but to no avail, it might be time to enrol yourself onto a climax control programme — and the good news is you can now do this from the comfort of your own home.
The MYHIXEL Control package includes support from a team of trained sex experts and CBT therapists, plus a handheld textured device to track your progress. It's an investment, but by covering all three bases at once, you can teach your penis to behave accordingly and start to enjoy a more fulfilling sex life.
This stretchy double cock ring may look like a BDSM accessory, but it's actually a practical piece of kit that can work wonders for your timing. The textured plastic ring lightly grips your schlong and balls, enabling you to wrestle back some control and prolong the party. But it may also make your erection look and feel stronger, giving you the confidence you need to power on through.
If you tend to miss the right spot with a spray, opt for a gel instead. This water-based liquid, infused with peppermint oil, allspice and patchouli, will not only make your member smell mighty fine, but acts to reduce sensitivity and delay ejaculation with its cooling effect.
Another (efficient) option: delay wipes. 'To use, gently wipe them along the penis to slightly reduce sensitivity and allow you to last longer when you have sex,' says Brightman.
Typically these wipes contain laureth-9, used in a number of cosmetic products for its local numbing properties, or benzocaine, a topical anaesthetic. 'This helps to slightly numb the area, reducing overstimulation and improving endurance,' she adds.
For those after a natural route to desensitisation, EXS has opted to infuse its wallet-friendly wipes with clove oil, known to reduce sensation by confusing your pain signals.
If you'd prefer to pop a supplement, Zuyosa's natural blend includes supercharged herbs, plants and minerals to help you go the distance. In the line-up: l-arginine, Siberian ginseng, maca, resveratrol, zinc and magnesium, with herbal aphrodisiacs saw palmetto and avena sativa too.
Some Brits with dicks say their premature ejaculation is because they find penetrative sex overstimulating. Thicker rubbers can decrease sensation to the point where you have more control over your end game, but not so much that your sexual desire dissipates entirely.
If you're exceptionally sensitive downstairs, delay condoms can help you wrench back control. Inside you'll find a lubricant boosted with an anaesthetic agent like benzocaine or lidocaine to prolong your sexual prowess.
Delay cream works in the same way as delay lube or gel, desensitising your tool to help you go the distance. This water-based formula has been infused with St. John's Wort, known to work as both a muscle relaxant and nerve tonic.
A quick reminder that herbal products containing the plant have been known to impact the effectiveness of hormonal contraceptives (e.g. the pill), so we'd recommend wrapping up if expanding your family isn't the goal.
While you've been working on your guns in the gym, you may have neglected your most important weapon: your pelvic floor. Yep, working these muscles can actually help improve your orgasm control and power.
'Kegel exercises can strengthen the muscles around the penis,' says Brightman. 'By contracting the pelvic floor muscles on a regular basis, your strength in that area will improve and in turn you can gain better control of your ejaculatory reflex.'
The designers behind this pelvic floor exerciser say it should increase the intensity of your orgasms, stamina, bladder control and boost your confidence. But how? Simply sit on top as it tracks your exercises, before it automatically sends your results to the Boost app. Then put into practice the step-by-step feedback it offers in return.
If you're not so keen on getting your hands dirty (read: sticky, slimy or tacky), opt for a single-dose tablet, such as Priligy, taken orally one to two hours before sex.
'Priligy contains the active ingredient dapoxetine,' says Brightman. 'Dapoxetine is clinically proven to help men last up to three times longer by increasing the activity of serotonin in your nervous system, which helps to delay ejaculation.' Hurrah!
If your penis has gone rogue, it might be worth trying to retrain him to behave. This bestselling masturbator doubles as a pleasure sleeve and a trainer (read our full review here), tracking your performance via 10 motion sensors before sending it directly to the LELO app. Cue the feedback, shortly followed by an award-winning performance.
While many premature ejaculation products have been proven to be effective, there are a few lifestyle changes that may help your penis pace itself.
The stop-start technique, also known as edging, is an effective behavioural training method for treating premature ejaculation.
'It involves bringing yourself close to orgasm and stopping just before you ejaculate,' explains Brightman. 'Doing this can help to train you to develop control over when you orgasm and, in turn, make it easier to avoid ejaculating sooner than you would like during sex.'
Alternatively, the squeeze technique – which involves pinching the head of your penis for a few seconds just before you ejaculate – can be similarly effective.
If you suspect your premature ejaculation may be caused by a psychological condition such as anxiety or depression, counselling can help, says Brightman.
'Anxiety about sexual performance can impact how quickly you ejaculate, but attending therapy sessions with a sex therapist can help to alleviate these feelings and provide you with greater confidence when having sex.'
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