If you get lazy after you um, finish using your sex toy, you need to check out sex educator Taylor Sparks' s four sex toy hygiene mistakes you're making.
If you get lazy after you um, finish using your sex toy, you need to check out sex educator Taylor Sparks' s four sex toy hygiene mistakes you're making. vibrating dildo
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Question: Have you been taking advantage of your vibrator recently? Because I know a lot of pleasure-seekers who fell hard for a sex toy (or three) this year, but, as is the case with any relationship, pleasure tools can be taken for granted. For example, the other day I realized that I charge all my vibrators on my filthy floor immediately before using them. Gross, right? It made me wonder: What other sex toy hygiene mistakes do people commonly make?
erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven
We all get lazy sometimes—my self-sanitizing vibrator is proof of that—but that’s no reason to stop prioritizing your sexual health. It’s why below, Taylor Sparks, sex educator and founder of online intimacy shop Organic Loven, shares what you should and shouldn’t do to make sure your sex toy hygiene routine is as clean as possible.
The entire point of cleaning your sex toys properly is to make sure your body is continuously treated like royalty, even after orgasm. For Sparks, that means avoiding chemical and antibacterial-based toy cleaners, especially those that have the anti-microbial triclosan. “It’s an antibacterial chemical that may leave a film on your toys, which can then be absorbed into your bloodstream through your vagina or anus,” says Sparks. “Triclosan has been linked to liver toxicity and thyroid disruption, even in low levels.”
Instead, she recommends seeking out sex-toy cleaners that contain all-natural and/or organic ingredients—not just “some” organic ingredients. One recommendation is the Intimate Earth Green Foaming Toy Cleaner ($15), a foaming cleanser with natural antibacterial properties that are gentle on toys yet provide a powerful clean. And for covertly lazy folks, she recommends Sensuva Think Clean Thoughts Toy Cleaner ($8), a quick antibacterial spray that cleans toys without mess. And if you have a large collection of toys (ahem) and cash to burn, you might want to invest in a sanitizer called Uvee ($200). “It’s a UVC light system that can kill up to 99 percent of all germs in 10 minutes,” Sparks adds.
According to Sparks, some non-medical-grade silicone toys may stick to each other, and porous toys can cross-contaminate each other. Luckily, you can avoid that by keeping everything separate.
“Most toys come with their own cloth bags so that you can store them individually,” says Sparks. “You can always invest in a lockable toy case or a lockable toy bag and put them in their individual bags and then add them to the larger toy storage case or bag.”
Even fresh toys can have weird stuff on them, folks. “Toys may contain chemicals on their surface from the packaging they are stored in,” says Sparks. “Always wash the toys with a chemical-free, organic, and natural wash before using it for the first time.”
“Even though bacterial vaginosis is not a sexually transmitted disease, sometimes the bacteria in one’s mouth or vagina doesn’t mix with the bacteria of another and can trigger vaginosis,” says Sparks, who notes that this spread can happen via sex toys. Likewise, sex toys can transmit STIs. For example, take one super-small 2014 study, published in the journal Sexually Transmitted Diseases, which had participants with human papillomavirus (HPV) insert a toy vaginally and then compared the results between toys made from silicone versus thermoplastic elastomer (a jelly-esque porous material). Even after cleaning both toys, 56 percent of the thermoplastic toys and 44 percent of the silicone toys had traces of HPV on them.
So, even though that study was small, suffice it to say, it’s best practice to use the same care standards with penetrative toys as you would with your own genitals. “When sharing toys, use a new condom between each exchange,” Sparks says. “Wash toys before and after each use.”
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Whatever kind of sexy flick you're in the mood for this, we've got you covered.
Whatever kind of sexy flick you're in the mood for this, we've got you covered.
A good sex scene, in many ways, is objective. Some take place in such unique settings that they've become iconic snapshots in film history. Some are notable in their unique depictions of what intimacy means. And some of them are just straight-up hot to watch. Whatever variety you're in the mood for this Valentine's Day, these are some of the best movie sex scenes throughout film history.
When has car sex ever been so romantic? We're starting with a classic. After turning up the heat with a nude portrait session ("paint me like one of your French girls"), star-crossed lovers Rose (Kate Winslet) and Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) run off to the ship's cargo hold and prove that longing glances, a hand on a steamy window and a few seconds of choppy breath are all you need to convey intimacy. Where to stream: Disney+, Paramount+
Samuel (Harris Dickinson) grooving to George Michael's "Father Figure" is one of the less-explicit scenes of this film about an affair between a tech company CEO (Nicole Kidman) and her much younger intern, but a prime moment to thirst over regardless. It's a textbook lesson in filming for the female gaze, as the shirtless, tatted-up 20-something sips from a whiskey glass as he casually and confidently dances his way over to give his boss a lap dance in their hideaway hotel room. Where to stream: Amazon Prime
The rom-com about a British prince (Nicholas Galitzine) and the son of the U.S. president (Taylor Zakhar Perez) falling in love is cheesy and by no means a major award-winner. When Prince Henry and Alex finally give in to their attraction to each other—even despite the international controversy implications—viewers can tell from their intentional hand movements, shaky breath, and adoring glances that the characters are having intense sex. And that they're super into each other. Where to stream: Amazon Prime
Childhood pals-turned-impending college basketball stars Monica (Sanaa Lathan) and Quincy (Omar Epps) finally explore their romantic relationship in a sweet depiction of young love. What starts as a makeout between their neighboring bedroom windows turns into a passionate love scene in Quincy's bedroom, no words necessary. The two convey years of pent-up desire with their eyes and actions alone. Even the way he gently pauses to grab a condom is a welcome reminder that using protection is sexy, too. Where to stream: Max
Maybe this franchise was the first that came to mind when you read this headline—the Fifty Shades franchise certainly built a reputation of being hypersexual. While various explicit scenes served different purposes across the three films, the first one in the second film, in particular, put Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) in the driver's seat of her own pleasure. There are no whips, chains, or sex dungeons here, just Christian (Jamie Dornan) in a bedroom, asking what she wants and taking direction. Where to watch: Peacock
It's another classic and why you get a little hot and bothered upon seeing a clay wheel. Sam (Patrick Swayze) and Molly (Demi Moore) are a couple madly in love with each other before Sam's untimely death, after which he's left as a ghost. This scene takes place before his death, where Molly is working on a clay wheel before Sam approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her to assist in shaping the clay before they turn to focus on each other, the clay forgotten in a messy clump. In real life, would you be too distracted by clay exploding everywhere? Probably, but Swayze and Moore bring such a perfect mix of sweetness and sensuality that we'll allow for the improbability of it all. Where to watch: Peacock
Who could forget the romance's classic kiss in the rain? After being separated by a world war and an interfering mother, Noah (Ryan Gosling) and Allie (Rachel McAdams) reunite, desperately tossing aside their rain-soaked clothes to prove it really wasn't over in a slow, backlit love scene full of pent-up longing and frustration. "Let's do it again," Allie says after the two finally get a chance to catch their breath. (We'd probably say the same thing to Ryan Gosling in that situation, too.) Where to watch: Hulu, Max, Disney+
A first Tinder date turns into a fugitive situation after Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) and Queen (Jodie Turner Smith) accidentally kill a police officer on their drive home. Not exactly the most romantic premise, but amid chaos, fear, and uncertainty, the two share a tender moment of refuge in their getaway car after an hour and a half of rising sexual tension. As Queen and Slim finally get hot and heavy in the passenger seat, shots of them making love are interspersed between a separate scene of a protest turned violent, an artistic choice that seems to fuel the couple's need for togetherness. Plus, Daniel Kaluuya—need we say more? Where to watch: Netflix, Hulu
Is it overkill to include two Ryan Gosling-led sex scenes? We don't think so. Gosling and Michelle Williams star in this romantic drama about a couple from their teens into adulthood. Here, they're young and in love, perfectly blending goofiness with sensuality as Dean plays a CD (remember those?) for his girlfriend that features a love song he picked out just for her. The part where he leans over her, necklace dangling, while he mouths along to the lyrics? A swoon-worthy moment if we've ever seen one. Where to watch: Prime Video
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A step-by-step expert guide to the sexual phenomenon.
A step-by-step expert guide to the sexual phenomenon.
You likely have questions about squirting, especially considering the many myths surrounding the sexual phenomenon. What exactly is it? Can you learn how? Is wetter better? Am I normal? To fill the gaping gaps of knowledge on this topic, we put together a guide on gushing, which includes step-by-step instructions from sex educators.
licensed clinical social worker and sexologist
Debra Laino, DHS, is a sexologist, doctor of human sexuality, relationship therapist, and life coach.
Squirting is the release of clear liquid from the urethra in response to high levels of arousal, says Debra Laino, a sex educator and relationship therapist based in Delaware. The phenomenon, which can happen with or without climax, is named for the typically high velocity of the substance. But while the term and so much of the porn depict squirting as a gushing stream, the fluid doesn’t always gush. “Squirting can also be a trickle or a light stream,” licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist Shamyra Howard, PhD, CST, LCSW, tells Well+Good.
The volume also varies wildly, with women emitting anywhere from 10 to 100+ millimeters. For reference, most medicine dose caps hold 10 millimeters of liquid, while 100 millimeters is equivalent to an ungenerous pour of wine.
What squirting is not, however, is an orgasm or female ejaculation. While the squirting is sometimes dubbed a “squirting orgasm,” the two experiences are biologically distinct, says sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, Ph.D, lead researcher and medical review board member with the Women’s Health Initiative. Additionally, “squirting and female ejaculation are scientifically and physiologically different, even if the terms are sometimes used interchangeably.”
Both squirting and ejaculation involve the release of fluid from the urethra, but female ejaculation is milkier and released in lower quantities, explains Laino. Further, the two fluids come out of the urethra through separate sources. Female ejaculation comes from bite-sized bulbs of glandular tissues on either side of the urethra (known as the paraurethral glands), while the bladder is believed to be where squirting liquid comes from.
So you’re probably pondering whether squirt is pee. The answer? Not quite. “Squirting fluid is made up of a mixture of dilute urine substance—which contains lower levels of creatinine and urea than normal urine,” says Melancon. In other words, squirt contains some of the same ingredients as pee but isn’t pee, much like lasagna contains similar ingredients as pizza, while still being markedly different.
“Squirt juice is clear, not yellow, and does not smell like pee,” adds Sarah Kelleher, LCSW, CHSE, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and holistic sex educator. But regardless, there is nothing hot about judging other people’s bodies during sex—especially when their happenings are entirely normal (and not to mention sexy). As Howard puts it, “All fluids released during sexual pleasure are erotic.”
Research on human sexuality is as sparse as the walls of a home you just moved into. Still, it is unlikely that everyone can squirt (or want to), says Kelleher. “Every body is different,” she says.
It makes sense: “Just because two people have the same tools and anatomy does not necessarily mean that they experience the same physiologic response to stimulation,” says Kelleher. Hey, not all people enjoy having their nipples stimulated, either. No matter whether you’re part of the estimated 10 to 54% of women who can squirt, you’re normal!
The experience will vary from person to person, and how many times they’ve squirted before.
Unfortunately, many individuals are plagued by stress, shame, and confusion the first few times they squirt, according to Laino. Squirting can be accompanied by a whoosh of wetness and a sensation similar to taking a wee. So often, an individual’s first thought during or after squirting is: “What was that?”
However, once individuals move through those initial emotions—usually with a combination of education and a sex-positive partner—the sensation of squirting is a pleasurable one. “If squirting happens during orgasm, it might feel like a natural extension of the orgasm, as both involve the release of tension and a heightened arousal state,” says Kelleher. For some, because squirting involves the physical expulsion of fluid, it may make the orgasm feel even more intense, satisfying, or full-bodied, she says.
Some people, on the other hand, may experience squirting outside of an orgasm. When not accompanied by the deep pelvic contractions or emotional intensity associated with orgasm, Kelleher says that squirting may not feel particularly intense. “It might feel like pressure relief or a slight burst,” she says.
“If you want to experiment with squirting, starting in a relaxed state is a must, as stress and performance anxiety can inhibit arousal and physical release,” says Kelleher.
This tip emphasizes the importance of getting your mind right ahead of exploration and avoiding conflating squirting with success and not squirting with deficiency. “Squirting is just one of many potential ways to achieve pleasure,” says Kelleher. “You need to know that if it doesn’t happen for you, neither you nor the sex session are a failure,” she says.
It also highlights the benefit of prepping yourself and your space before stripping down. “Emptying your bladder beforehand and putting down a towel can help you stay in the moment and not in your head about making a mess—even if the sensations start to feel similar to taking a wizz, she says. Turning on all five senses through candles, twinkle lights, and tunes is encouraged, too.
Even if you’d eventually like to squirt with a partner, Laino recommends getting down with your cute self. “Exploring yourself internally and externally can help understand your unique arousal triggers,” she says. You can later communicate this knowledge to partnered play to increase the odds of squirting, as well as more pleasure overall.
Experts recommend touching yourself, specifically in a few areas. “Squirting requires stimulation of an internal erogenous zone called the G-Spot, which feels squishy and different from the smooth vaginal walls,” says Melancon. Exploring with your hands can make it easier to find this spot, as you can use tactile and directional cues.
G-spot wands (and lube!) can also help you find the spongy tissues, which are located about two inches inside the front wall of the vagina, she says.
Sexual excitement is a good thing—but being too eager a beaver can sabotage your ability to squirt (or orgasm).
By definition, squirting requires high levels of arousal, says Melancon. “If you aren’t adequately aroused prior to penetration, stimulating the G-spot won’t yield much pleasure at all,” she says. It could lead to discomfort and possibly a “need to urinate” sensation.” Rather than going from diddly squat to internal stimulation, she suggests starting with reading or listening to erotica, fantasizing, kissing, external touch, sensual massage, and so on to get more in the mood.
Once you’re acquainted with your body, you’re ready to take a stab at squirting.
Most experts say your best bet is to combine internal (G-zone) and external (glans clitoral) stimulation. Kelleher recommends applying firm, rhythmic, or pulsating pressure (dealer’s choice!) to stimulate your G-spot while simultaneously teasing your clit.
The mechanics of loving on multiple erogenous zones at once with your hands can feel awkward—especially for those of us who aren’t ambidextrous—which is why a partner and/or pleasure tool can be beneficial. A partner can use their hand or penis to repetitively stroke the shallow hot spot while you hold a clit suction toy or use your fingers to stimulate your clit. Alternatively, you could use a rabbit vibrator to vibrate against both areas simultaneously.
Because clitoral stimulation is required for an estimated 70% of women to climax, the outer clitoris is almost guaranteed to stimulate orgasm, according to Howard. “If this happens and you want to continue exploring squirting, continue clitoris stimulation even after orgasm has occurred,” she suggests. “The sensation will likely feel intense, but watch what happens next.”
According to Melancon, the most important thing to remember if you want to squirt is to relax. “When trying something sexually, it is common to get excited, put pressure on ourselves and the experience, and try to control our response,” she says. This is normal, but it will not usually lead to squirting or another kind of pleasure—which defeats the point! Who knows, maybe that’s exactly why TLC warned against chasing waterfalls…
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Just in time for V-Day...or a random Tuesday.
Advice from the Eagles' Executive Chef and Team Nutritionist that you can incorporate into your everyday breakfast, shoulder pads optional.
What can you expect today? Discover your zodiac sign's daily horoscope from Well+Good's expert astrologer Stefanie Iris Weiss.
Learn more about the astrology of desire—and what the stars have in store for your pleasure.
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