Spring is here! The mercury is rising, foliage is green again, and countless wonderful trail rides await daring off-roaders. It’s time to get dirty. Going off-roading is an experience unlike any other and unless you’re one of the kooky cats of the Gambler 500, you’re going to want something capable for the task. Most people go for a Jeep or a Toyota, but some of the coolest off-roaders don’t come from America or Japan, but the United Kingdom and Germany. However, you might want to keep a tow truck at the ready.
Yesterday, Thomas gave you an intense matchup between a hero and a villain from the James Bond universe. The E38 BMW 7 Series and the Jaguar XKR convertible were both vehicles prominently featured during Pierce Brosnan’s run as Agent 007, and unlike Brosnan’s face, these cars haven’t aged so gracefully. You had the choice of German complexity versus British beauty, and complexity. Both of these vehicles have had a lot of work done to them, yet the cheaper Jag and its timing chain work won out over the much more expensive Beemer. Washers
In this case, evil prevailed and our titular hero has fallen, maybe next time double-0. Perhaps the voting could have been different had the BMW been priced a lot closer to the competing Jaguar. Our recent articles about BMW regrets and repairs probably haven’t convinced readers to roll the dice on the roundel.
Today, I’m continuing the theme of pitting the Brits up against the Germans, but now we’re no longer in the world of Bond. Even better, the prices are going to be very close to each other.
If you can believe it, there was once a time when Volkswagen was known for building vehicles capable of surviving some of the harshest environments. Beetles have been in places and taken part in races most cars could only dream of while the Volkswagen Iltis has real military bonafides. There was a time when Volkswagen was a bit obsessed with getting its cars rough and dirty, too, as evidenced by the Golf Country.
Land Rover’s contributions to off-roading don’t need an introduction. Many of you are already picturing the Camel Trophy SUVs and images of 4x4s conquering the English countryside and beyond. Land Rover is to the Brits as Jeep is to Americans. Yet, both of these brands are very different today. Volkswagen has no real off-road presence in America right now and Land Rover makes its cash from hyper-luxurious SUVs usually owned by people who scoff at the idea of leaving pavement. Let’s go back to the late 1990s and the early 2000s.
Engine/drivetrain: 4.2-liter V8 making 310 HP, six-speed automatic, permanent 4×4.
Operational status: Runs and drives “strong.”
The Volkswagen Touareg is easily one of the most underrated off-road vehicles of the modern era. It looks like a boring crossover, but these SUVs have proven themselves to be outrageously capable when the going gets tough. The Volkswagen Touareg and its partner Porsche Cayenne were designed in a development program to create a pair of super SUVs.
It started with Porsche, which desperately needed a popular, mass-market vehicle to fill its coffers over the long term. The Cayenne was originally supposed to be a high-performance variant of the Mercedes-Benz ML, but that fell through, landing Porsche back with its old friend Volkswagen. The two companies weren’t joined yet, but did collaborate. This time, madman Ferdinand Piëch was at the helm of Volkswagen and saw potential in making a super SUV with Porsche.
Out of the other end came a pair of mid-size SUVs with a 7,716-pound tow rating, short overhangs, limited-slip differentials, lockers, off-road traction control, and more than enough power to pull a Boeing 747 down a runway. In the case of the Porsche, you could have used the SUV to tow your racecar to the track and then you had enough power to race your Cayenne on the track after your racecar broke down.
This Volkswagen Touareg is a well-optioned example. It comes equipped with the middle engine that was offered in North America, the 4.2-liter V8. It’s good for 310 HP and drives a permanent four-wheel-drive system with a center-locking differential and low range. However, this one is a bit special as it has the rare rear-locker option as well. Also somewhat rare is its peanut butter leather interior. So many Touaregs were optioned with boring black or gray leather.
Surprisingly, this example shows no warning lights on its display or in its instrument cluster. That said, these SUVs can fail in spectacular ways. The air suspension gives you great ride height but also likes developing leaks and blowing bags. The V8 under the hood sounds great and punches out decent power, but requires premium fuel, and its camshaft chains are known for wearing out. But hey, that’s for future you to worry about.
It’s $3,099 from the seller in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Engine/drivetrain: 4.0-liter V8 making 182 HP, four-speed automatic, permanent 4×4.
Operational status: Runs and drives with new parts.
Back in the 1980s, Land Rover discovered that it created a problem for itself. It moved so far upmarket that it essentially abandoned its past of building tough off-roaders for outdoorsy types. There was a demand for an SUV that wasn’t as luxurious but could still tackle the toughest regions of the world.
The Land Rover Discovery I hit the trails in 1989. It rode on the same chassis and used the same four-wheel-drive system as the Range Rover, but was priced to attract a broad demographic of buyers. The Discovery filled the family off-roader void left by the luxury Range Rover. Here in America, competition from American and Japanese off-roaders convinced Land Rover that the Range Rover needed some backup. In 1994, the Discovery left its Solihull, United Kingdom factory for America.
Land Rover tried to make the Discovery more than just a family off-roader, but a lifestyle product. Everyone sat high up with visibility and storage was abundant including roof bins and magazine holders. Rear passengers got their own vents and if you really wanted to be stylish, you could carry around a branded bag.
This Discovery is a Series II, which was reworked after BMW’s acquisition of Rover Group. The Discovery is a pretty adept off-roader just like the Volkswagen and features technology including off-road traction control and hill descent control. Yet, it’s a bit more old-school with its solid axles and body-on-frame design as opposed to the VeeDub’s unibody. I’ve seen these getting dirty right there with the Touareg and don’t forget the iconic Camel Trophy SUVs! Of course, the elephant in the room is the fact that the aluminum V8s under the hood are notorious for eating up their head gaskets. Avoid that and you still have to fight rust and any number of problems that could put you on the back of a tow truck.
This example is said to have heated seats and working air-conditioning. New parts include a serpentine belt, water pump, and brakes, but it will need a stereo.
It’s $3,000 from the seller in Cedar Lake, Indiana.
Both of these SUVs will get you far and beyond while being a bit different than the parade of Jeep Wranglers, Toyota 4Runners, and Ford Broncos that you see absolutely everywhere. The Volkswagen is an off-road sleeper that is far more capable than it looks while the Land Rover is a classy beauty that looks good in front of any rugged backdrop. Both of these SUVs are affordable options to get you into the sticks this summer. What’s your pick?
Two unreliable pieces of crap. No thanks.
Honestly, these vehicles have outlived their attrition-stage, where all the worst examples have long since failed beyond the point of saving. I’ve known owners of Touaregs which were vicious money pits, as well as those with solid ones – when they go bad, they go horrendously expensively bad.
The Land Rover, on the other hand, I prefer being that it actually ties back to the classic Range Rover – so if it doesn’t have terminal frame rust, it should be (mechanically) solid. And should be (mostly) fixable with a reel of wire (for inevitable wiring failures), and a local mechanic on standby.
This is the definition of an irrational purchase so if I’m going to have my life ruined by a car, it needs to at a minimum be charming. Not that the Touareg’s design is bad by any means, but does it look like a car that’s worth pulling your hair out for?
Disco doesn’t suck, today.
Took the Disco. When I met my wife, her family had just bought a new Touareg. They had nothing but problems and each one required a trip back to the dealer which wasn’t close to their ski town in the Rockies. Mostly electrical gremlins but also issues with a fuel pump, the AC and the suspension before they “gifted” it to my brother-in-law who at the first issue promptly used it as a trade in for a Subie.
So I’ll take the Disco knowing that they too have their demons (cooling issues, head gaskets, etc.).
Despite, well, everything, I’m in for the VW.
I’ve had some distinctively dodgy experiences with Range and Land Rovers, and found the Disco to be a bit tippy and top-heavy. The Touareg, in contrast, was a good driver. And I don’t go off-road enough — intentionally, anyway — to need all that advertised rock-climbing goodness.
If the VeeDub was a V10, I’d shy away. But the V8 was pretty nifty.
At least the initial hit isn’t too bad.
If it was as close to me I’d take the Rover. But Milwaukee is less than an hour away so VW it is
AAA only gives you 6 tows a year. Not gonna be enough.
Picked the Disco because I think I could fix it myself.
The Discovery could be actively on fire and I’d still probably choose it over a VW. Especially a touaraeg
Oh, they want me to pay them for these cars? That’s cute.
You might talk me into the Disco if you reminded me of the super-fast cop/park ranger Discoveries in the early NFS games that could pace a Corvette and got me nostalgic, otherwise no.
“20 to County. In pursuit of a Corvette, near Rocky Pass!”
lmfao yep. *pulls a sick 180 at speed to make you crash into him on the side*
“20 to County. THIS BOY’S DONE.”
OMG are you trying to kill us? Yes on getting a AAA membership. Maybe get two, just in case. Find the nearest German mechanic and become his best friend. Buy him pretzels and beer. Double-date with him and his spouse, and pick up the check. You might also want to buy one of those little Jeeps to tow behind, like the RV geezers do. Y’know, just in case. Aw, hell, just buy a goddamned tow truck, it’ll pay for itself.
Hell, double date and be willing to swap. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.
I have driven and worked on one of those VWs before and it wasn’t bad. Sign me up for that one
At least the Land Rover has “offroading” ability and a cool roof window.
Mercedes, your experience with a Toureg almost got me to click on that vehicle.
But your experience with every OTHER VW you’ve had made me click on the Disco.
The VW is probably the better vehicle here, but God help me, I do have a thing for these Discos.
For once I didn’t click the VW just from brand loyalty. My old boss had a Disco, which I one time drove to a meeting. I imagine that driving a tractor trailer in cross-winds is a similar experience. I don’t even think it was dramatic weather, but that thing is as aerodynamic as an office block, so I spent the drive struggling to keep it in my line. No thank you.
My ma had a disco 1 just like that. Plus there’s kits out there to put an LS in it. Sold.
I feel I would have an easier time trying to fix all of the Rover’s problems compared to trying to fix the VW. Rover it is.
I think the Rover is cooler if you can keep it running, but this is definitely a day where everyone loses.
I would rather stick my dingaling in a hornet’s nest than deal with a VW or Land Rover with 150,000 miles.
We don’t kink-shame here, but tell us what you think of the presented vehicles.
I’d like to imagine that Nic Cage’s character in The Wicker Man changed his tune about the bees when they showed him the title to a VW Touareg as the alternative.
NEVERMIND THE BEES ARE FINE!
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